Welcome Aboard —
Ahoy, shipmates — welcome to Bilge Baboon, the home port of bad decisions, good humor, and diesel-fueled problem solving.
We were born out of the chaos that lives below deck — where busted bolts, cold coffee, and creative language keep the engines turning. The Bilge Baboon isn’t polished, doesn’t follow a manual, and definitely doesn’t wear gloves unless it’s freezing.
We built this brand for the wrench-turners, the boat whisperers, the folks who spend more time in the engine room than the cockpit. You know who you are — you smell like gear oil and fiberglass resin, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.
Here, we celebrate the unrefined art of keeping old boats alive and the eternal struggle of fixing something that was “just running fine yesterday.”
Every shirt, sticker, and design we drop is made for the ones who:
Believe duct tape is a legitimate repair.
Know “temporary fix” can last three seasons.
Understand that if it’s not leaking, it’s probably empty.
So grab a coffee, tighten that bolt that’s been loose for three months, and wear your Bilge Baboon gear with pride.
You’ve earned it.
The Boat Yard
“You can’t buy experience — but you’ll sure as hell pay for it.”
"You never really own a boat---you just share custody with entropy."
---Bilge Baboon
---Bilge Baboon
---Bilge Baboon
“The smartest tool in the box is the one you didn't throw overboard."
Meet the Bilge Baboon
Born somewhere between a diesel leak and a bad decision, the Bilge Baboon is the unofficial mascot of every grease-stained boat mechanic and caffeine-fueled skipper.
He’s equal parts chaos and craftsmanship — fluent in profanity, powered by coffee, and capable of fixing almost anything (eventually).
From the engine room to the open sea, the Bilge Baboon stands for the unrefined art of keeping boats afloat and laughter alive.
If it smells like diesel and sounds like trouble, he’s probably nearby — wrench in one hand, coffee in the other, grinning like he knows something you don’t.
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